Grave Miscalculations
by insomniac-od
Summary: Integra gets a good laugh. Unfortunately or not, it is at Maxwell's expense.


**Grave Miscalculations**

Integra scowled. His self-serving and pompous speech had been going on, without any signs of closure, for the last two hours. The man was too full of himself. She had never seen anyone so cocky before.

Well, technically she did, but he was not human by any definition.

"And in return, we only propose that England and all its forces submit all issues connected with the undead to the Vatican."

The frown on Integra's face deepened. She knew what his next line would be. Nevertheless, taking advantage of the fact his back was turned to her, she allowed herself the luxury of rolling her eyeballs in boredom as he continued in that annoying and affected tone of his.

"And as a matter of course, we will require full jurisdiction in England and its lands. England will recognize the Vatican forces as if its own and will surrender all locus standi in this respect."

A little chuckle came from the end of the table, visibly annoying Enrico. Apparently someone had caught sight of Integra's expression.

"And your Majesty has something to add," quizzed the young priest, his tone barely civil.

"You ask for too much, Mr Maxwell," replied the Queen, ignoring his discourtesy. "Even assuming that we owe the Vatican for repelling the Millennium forces, it cannot be that you require our lands to surrender sovereignty to you."

"We do not ask for that, your Majesty."

"You are effectively asking that we disband Hellsing and all her forces, the same forces that took down the Major and his undead army. May I remind you that they did what yours could not? We cannot see how abandoning them can be advantageous to England."

Enrico snorted. "Unfortunately, you now have barely enough troops for me to count with one hand. Hellsing, or its remnants, will be absorbed into the Vatican forces. We will send more troops from Italy and we will station them here to protect this land."

"Assuming that we agree to this, tell us Mr Maxwell, to whom will the new troops owe their allegiance to?"

"They will protect England and your Majesty, of course."

"But they will report to you," came the dry answer. "We cannot accept this."

Enrico smiled unpleasantly as he turned towards Integra. "But your knight's estate here is in ruins and her army in tatters. Surely you cannot deny that."

Integra looked up in boredom. "We will do fine on our own, Mr Maxwell. There is no need to worry your pretty little head for our English affairs."

"Ah the English sow speaks," mocked Enrico. "What will you fight the undead forces with? The broken bricks of your house? Swill?"

"We will manage well," she replied coolly. "I would suggest you worry about yourself."

"Still trusting in that devil spawn of yours?" the priest leered, as he brought his face too close to hers for comfort.

"Well, don't," he continued. "I do believe my forces were hanging him out to dry in the sun since an hour ago."

Murmurs, mostly of panic, erupted from the other knights.

"Mr Maxwell, explain yourself or we will regard this as an act of war," spoke the Queen. Her voice was icy. Even Enrico had to admit that had he been in any less advantageous position, he would have cowered at her commanding tone.

"As of an hour ago, your nation's pet abomination is no more. Accept the Vatican's generous offer, your Majesty, before you need to beg our help. Even now, my troops who have accomplished their mission are outside these grounds and are awaiting to ..."

"Really," interrupted Integra. "I do believe you need to see this."

Ignoring his surprised looks, Integra tossed a pair of all too familiar blades on the table. It was her turn to grin victoriously. "These I need to return to your Paladin, when he picks himself off the floor."

"What the," stammered Enrico. The turn of events was anything but that he expected. "Assuming he got the better of Andersong, there are still ... "

"Other troops with him?" quizzed Integra in mock innocence. As if on cue, her cellphone rang, breaking the uneasy silence in the room.

Enrico and the rest of the knights could only stare as she picked up the call nonchalantly.

"Oh it's you, Seras," Integra said. "Please do come in now."

The door at the end of the hall opened and the young vampire walked through its doorways. She was lifting a huge sack and on Integra's nod, Seras walked over to Enrico's seat and innocuously dropped it in front of him.

Integra watched as Enrico opened the bag gingerly. How she relished the purplish tone in his face as he peered in.

"Save for the two uniforms Alucard ruined beyond repair, there should be ninety seven pieces in there. Won't want the Vatican saying that England owes them their uniforms, would we,"she laughed.

Enrico could only stare sullenly as defeat, or its clothing stared back.

"Your Majesty, I have an appointment to receive my new troops, so may I ..."

"Yes, you may. We must say we are most pleased with your Organization's adept manner of handling matters," chuckled the Queen.

"You are too kind. I thank your Majesty for her understanding," Integra said. Bowing and turning towards the door with Seras in tow, she made all efforts to keep a straight face. Letting out a huge sigh of relief as she closed the doors, she savored the loud outburst of laughter that broke out behind her.

Seras smiled mischievously. "Sir Integra, I assume my work here is done?"

"And I assume you both want time together? Alright then, go on the two of you."

She watched as Seras left excitedly. Ah, the raptures of young love, she thought to herself: they were behaving like teenagers even if both of them were not human anymore.

'So how was it, Master?'

She pursed her lips in mock annoyance. 'Alucard, I have lost count of the number of times I told you not to speak to me within my head. I don't like it.'

'So stop counting,' was his amused reply. 'You didn't complain when I was giving you a live commentary on the pretty patterns the paladin was leaving on the floor.'

She grinned. 'That was necessary,' she thought.

She could hear his throaty laughter. 'By the way, you might like to know his pathetic superior is right on your heels.'

Integra was about to retort that she was already aware of his presence but thought the better of it. The path she was on was beside a pond and provided a good reflection of her pursuer storming behind her. Using her knowledge of the terrain to her advantage, she picked up her pace, delighted to see that he was almost running in response. A playful smile crossed her face. She was half way down the path leading to the exit to Hyde Park and if her memory did not fail her, she would be reaching it just about now.

Stopping suddenly and pretending to tie her shoelace, she was absolutely delighted to see her pursuer fall to the right of the path in surprise. Obviously, even a fool such as him would not want risking a dunk in the pond. It was however, a pity he was unaware of what laid on the right. A loud splat confirmed the success of her prank.

Enrico fumed as he tried to regain what was left of his dignity. It did not help his mood to see that she was now peering down at him with undisguised glee.

"For goodness sake, Maxwell, I know you can't help it but do stop wallowing in the mud."


End file.
